A deep dread in the pit of my stomach. That pretty much sums up how I felt at the beginning of this pandemic.
As a physician I feared the death and destruction this virus could bring. I feared the unknown and the lack of data about this virus. I had deep fears about being able to take care of patients in a manner in which they felt safe.
As a small business owner I had fear about the health of my practice for the safety of my employees.
My next phase was anger. Why did this have to happen? Why was there so much suffering and pain? Why were we so unprepared? Why did this virus seem to be dividing us?
I felt deep sadness – for people struggling with loss- loss of life, livelihood, opportunities. I watched friends, patients and my own children grieving for the loss of the life we once we knew, so many freedoms lost.
I come to my current stage – acceptance. Yes, I have learned to slow down pace of my own life. I have chosen to breathe in all of this time I for granted with my children before they head onto their next chapters in life. I have enjoyed more time outside – I have enjoyed more one on one time with patients via telemedicine.
I have watched the earth heal.
I have seen medical miracles and communities coming together.
I have watched people rediscover the simple things in life.
I have chosen to be hopeful.
I know that science and medicine will eventually lead to a vaccine.
Life will be different but good.
Sometimes all we can ask for is a simple beautiful life….